Monday, September 21, 2009

Not So Funny

Tonight I was browsing a site called Yahoo Laughs that has a bunch of weird/amusing questions from Yahoo Answers.  I personally find these hilarious (the stupidity of humankind often makes me smile), but I came across one I couldn't laugh at:

"When I have sex with my boyfriend, it hurt's like it's not wet down there, but it is...does anyone know why?"

Naturally, this hit a little too close to home for me.  I followed the link to the original question, and as I expected, most of the replies were people saying she needs to use more lube, get herself more excited before sex, etc. (One helpful man even suggested that perhaps she doesn't like dick, and should become a lesbian instead). 
Now, of course, I have no way of knowing why this girl is having painful intercourse.  There could be dozens of explanations besides vulvodynia. But it made me wonder how many women and even young girls out there are feeling confused and frightened because they have this condition, and no one can tell them what it is.  I searched "Pain with sex" in YA, and there were countless women who were complaining about the same symptoms.  It made me want to find every one of and tell them that what they're experiencing has a name, and that they aren't alone.

Recently, I've been thinking about the problems men experience with sex (erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, and such).  It's just silly, how much media and scientific attention is paid to these conditions, while so few people have ever heard the term "Vulvodynia" (for example, I just had to input the word into Blogger's spellcheck).  Everybody can name a medication for ED, and the FDA is currently reviewing a drug that counters premature ejaculation.  Yet only 5-10% of men will experience ED by the age of 40.   Percentage of women who will experience symptoms of vulvodynia? 18%.  Possibly higher.

Granted, 20-30% of men experience PE, and the chances for ED spike after age 70, but honestly?  Vulvodynia sufferers are actually experiencing physical pain, some of them constantly hurting.  This is in addition to the emotional and mental trauma that comes with not being able to perform sexually (or even performing in spite of the pain).  And I'm not saying that ED and PE sufferers don't deserve the attention and research to cure their conditions.  But don't we deserve it too?  Can't there be a little blue pill that we can take before a big date, rather than enduring months of physical therapy and experimental treatments in the hopes that we can have sex once every few weeks?

It's just not fair...

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